| | There's some more things I need to get off my chest, and figured I
should put them here instead of letting hapless Impulse members stuble
upon my emoness :P That being said, this is mostly a bitch
post. It saddens me to have to put this 'disclaimer' up, but I've
gotten stupid comments before. Why people decide to go through
the trouble of reading a post they don't want and then REPLYING is
beyond me, but if you're planning on doing that, expect a ban or two to
come your way.
Once again I find myself wishing I had someone really close to me with
whom I could share all these things. It's true I have a good
amount of friends on the game, and even a few close ones, but I
dunno. It doesn't feel right. Julz is a total doll, but it
seems she's too much of a happy person to ... understand? That
doesn't even make sense, I know. She's a 'silver lining' kind of
gal, which is great most of the time, but as Mark said in my last
entry, 'Misery loves company.' Too true.
Bleh.
So, yeah, I'm going on with school. Missy, predictably, pulled
out. Just as well, since I'd already more than started to look at
apartments on my own. After she said it I was pretty pissed
off. Reading the last entry has me angry, when someone in my real
life brings up Missy and 'What happened with her?' I find myself
getting noticably angry as well, probably to the point where the person
who asked regrets doing so. For a while I questioned my decision
to avoid Missy as I had been. It's true that talking to her got
me more upset, but what she did wasn't truly awful. Or was
it? For a while I didn't know, until I found myself on a
comparable level of anger whenever I thouhgt about her or something
brought her up to the last time I was betrayed. And I realized,
even if the betrayal wasn't that ultimately harsh, it hurts me a lot
more than I thought it would, or even should. So there's a lesson
for ya, kiddies. Betray me and watch out.
Speaking of which....
How stupid was I, last post. The warnings were there. The
writing was on the wall. The alarm bells were ringing. I silenced
them all and ignored everything. What a fool.
If you haven't figured it out yet, it's about Sean.
Two or three weekends in a row he came over, with all the enthusiasm in
the world. He said all the right things, of course. We
fooled around. I stopped him, as I mentioned before, and thank
god I had the sagacity to do it back then, even if I wanted it.
After that, he got 'busy'. Wasn't around as much, stopped
messaging me, etc. Until recently, over the last few weeks, he
doesn't even bother replying when I do message or email him.
Ironic, huh? Yeah, I've ignored people. I guess what hurts
me the most is that he hasn't even bothered to give me a reason, or say
anything, or even let me know things were wrong, or even that he didn't
want this anymore. It was just, poof.
That's okay, I deserved it. Moving on...
I took a break from FFXI for about a week because of a few harsh
comments. It seems I've made a few enemies in Impulse. I
really.... don't... actually care very much that they hate me or want
to do whatever they can to see me crash and burn. My skin used to
crawl at the thought of people hating my guts. I guess I can even
thank these people for desensitizing me to it. Every once in a
while, though, there's a comment or two that just strikes me the wrong
way. There are a few things that still strike home, I'll
admit. I don't want to say what it was for a variety of reasons,
but suffice it to say, I needed some time off.
Besides, I had just bought VP2 and still have the rest of ToL, Magna
Carta, and a bunch of other games lined up down the road that I enjoy
but haven't finished yet. So my ps2 gaming will not slow for a
while yet! That's good news. Even so, I was still feeling
crappy Wednesday, so I went out and rented a few movies, and saw they
had Tales of the Abyss to rent....... gah. Couldn't resist.
It's actually pretty good, and I'm enjoying the story as well as the
gameplay. Doesn't help that the main characters are all total
babes, too *.* I loved VP2 as well, and you can read more about
that on my game blog.
And finally, there's some huge news.
I signed a lease. Rwar.
While I've been paying rent for years now, this is the first time I'll truly be on my own.
The place I found is fantastic. The cheapest of all the places I
looked at. Not huge (about 9x8 or so) but not a cubbyhole.
About half of my current furniture should fit in there decently.
The best part is, all the utilities are in the price, including both
cable AND internet. /wet dream. It seems almost too good to
be true, aside from the fact that it's a bit far from my school and the
room is a liiiiiittle small. But, hey, it's not like I'd find
anything bigger for the price I was looking for. Does anyone else
find it weird that the huge place I'm in now all the way on the edge of
the city takes me ~1hr to commute, where this tiny hole all the way
downtown is gonna take 20-30 mins still? Odd... Still, I
can't stay here so that's not an option any longer.
Moving out is scary, but it hasn't ... quite.... hit me yet. To
be honest, I don't know when/if it will. Usually things like this
I can remain level-headed until things have settled into the changes
and then I just take it and run. I'm hoping I can keep that kind
of realistic view when it comes to this, too. (Thank you, Dominic.)
So with cable and internet included, I'm hoping there will be little to
no displacement. I'm also hoping one of these job interviews I
had recently will pull through. Once January comes I'm gonna have
so much less free time on my hands it won't be funny. FFXI is
gonna have to take a backburner for a while.
Anyway, I have to go eat and do other stuff before I leave for class in half an hour.
Thanks for reading. Till next time.
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| | Posted 10/30/2006 11:31 AM - 16 Views - 4 eProps - 3 comments
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